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Jokes SMS

What is the thinnest book in the world? What Men know about Women.
Any woman that thinks the way to a man's heart is through his stomach is aiming just a little too high.
Do you ever notice that when u're driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is an maniac?
Husband to a newly wed wife: I could go to the end of the world for u. Wife thanks. But promise me u will stay there, husband completed his sentences
Sardar ji to his friend: Yar bari mushkil mein hoon, meri biwi mujhse ek kiss ka 100 Rs let hai.......Friend: Achcha,yar tu to bada lucky hai, doosron se to wo 500 Rs leti hai.
Father: Tumhe kaisi biwi chahiye? Son: Mujhe Chand jisi biwi chahiye,jo raat ko aaye aur subah chali jaye!
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you."She replied, "Yes, dear, but I was in love & didn't notice."
A train is about 2 crashes. A frantic virgin strip off n says: " Can anyone make feel like a women b4 I die?" So a man takes off his clothes n says, "Iron these!"
Doctor to Patient: The check which u gave me has returned back...Patient to Doctor: The headache for which you gave me medicine has also returned back.
Banta Singh! U get marry with Santa after my death, Wife! Wife but why? He is ur no.1 enemy. Banta singh: Banta!, this is only way to take revenge with Santa Singh.
Santa was drawing money from ATM. Banta, who was just behind him in the line said: I've seen ur password. It's ****. Santa: U r wrong. It's 1394
Banta asked santa: Why Manmohan Singh goes for a walk in the evening? Santa: Very simple,he is pm not an A.M.
Santa: Sir,hun meri salary wada diyo,mera uyah ho gaya hai.Boss: Factory de bahar hon wale hadseyan layi factory jimmevar nahin hundi.
Pappu was writing his father's name on a 1000 watt bulb. Santa asked him: What r u doing? Pappu aapka naam roshan kar raha hoon.
Santa sent a SMS to his pregnant wife. Couple of seconds he received a report on his phone and he started to dance. The report said: 'DELIVERED'.
A man to santa: U r friend is kissing ur wife in u r home. Santa rushes home and came back within half an hour n slapped the man n said: He's not my friend.
Santa found answer to the most difficult question ever- What comes first-the chicken or the egg? O yaar, jiska order pehle doge, vo ayega!
Petrol ke rate badhne par santa bola: "mainu koi farak nahin penda.Pehle bhi 100 ka bharwata tha, ab hi 100 ka bharwata hoon."
Santa: My dad was an extremely brave man. He one's entered a lion cage. Banta: He probably got a lot of applauses when he got out. Santa: I didn't say he got out.
Once professor asked Santa asked a plumber to come to his college. You know why? Because he wanted to check from where the question paper is leaking.
Dress code 4 a party- BLACK TIES ONLY. Banta goes for the party & is surprised to see that the other are wearing SUITS also!
Preeto: Raat ko aap peeke gutter mein gir gaye they..Banta: kyon bataoon,sub galat sangati ka asar hai, hum 4 dost...I bottle, aur wo teeno kambakht peete nahin.
Banta: Marte waqt aadmi ko kya dena chahiye? Santa: Birla cement. Banta: Kyun? Santa: Kyunki is cement mein jaan hai.
Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery. The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du? Santa: Dusri side tere baap lagayega kya?
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  • Love SMS
    Tujhe dekhe bina teri tasvir bana sakta hoon, Tujhse mile bina tera haal bata sakta hoon, Hai meri dosti mein itna dum, Apni aankh ka aansoo teri aankh se gira sakta hoon!!
    Cute proposal: Girl: Plese Close Your Eyes For a Movement. Boy: 0k Girl: Andhera Dikh Raha He Na Boy: Yes Girl: That Is My Life Here Without You!
  • Valentines
    Day SMS

    Kuch Ehsason Ke Saye Dil Ko Chu Jate Hain, Kuch Manzar Dil Mein Utar Jate Hain, Bejan Gulshan Mein Bhi Phool Khil Jate Hain, Jab Zindagi Mein Aap Jaise Dost Mil Jate Hain. Happy Teddy Bear Day!!!
    I Am Sweet And You Are Sour So Just Shut Up And Give Me A Flower! Happy Teddy Bear Day!
  • Occasional SMS
  • Festival SMS